Single and ready to mingle – is online dating the future?

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Here I am in my early thirties and facing 2021 as a single mum… to be honest I did start 2020 in the same way too but this last year has been a bit of a write off for any social interaction….. let alone dating!

Happy being single (or am I?)

I’m perfectly happy being single most of the time but there’s some occasions where I think it might be nice to have a bit of companionship, someone to watch a movie with – because Arlo only ever wants to watch animated stuff like paw patrol and that gets a bit tedious for the best of us after a couple of episodes – never mind a whole year of lockdown.

What will dating look like in 2021?

I have various friends who love to play matchmaker and in the past have set me up on blind dates and have suggested speed dating. I could tell you some funny stories from my past but I’ll have to save those for another day.

Thinking about online dating

For the last few weeks I have been stuck at home and thinking about online dating….. I watched this documentary for research purposes as I haven’t done this since my early twenties and it’s changed quite a bit – my first worry is creating a profile picture – let’s face it, in today’s online dating world people swipe left… (or is it right?) based on a quick glance and so your first picture needs to be a good one, I found myself sitting at home and trying to find the best light to take a picture because let’s face it the way I look now doesn’t match my Facebook profile picture from 2015.

Dating as a single mum

Then there’s the dilemma of being a single mum…. does this put people off? How do I approach all the different tick boxes to set up my profile….. I’m always going to be 100% honest about myself, my appearance and my circumstances because that’s just me but then how do I decide what I’m looking for? How do I figure out who the catfish are?

Looking for the perfect man

Here I am thinking that the gingerbread man I just made is probably my ideal man….. he’s sweet and doesn’t answer back and you can’t bite their heads off if you get fed up of them – but honestly how do I know what kind of guy I want to date until I meet him? I’m a strong believer in human attraction being based on more than appearances… but at the same time if I reveal that I love watching crime thriller movies and have a penchant for playing poker I worry about the kind of person that will attract.

Asking friends for help

I’ve been sending my thoughts in to the girls group chat…. where all major life decisions are discussed as a collective and suddenly one of my friends revealed that their mum has been online dating with some great success…. so we had to schedule in a video call…. I mean who would have thought I’d be taking advice from a pensioner on how to find a date in 2021?!

Sharing experiences of online dating

Jean (not her real name) is a lively woman in her early sixties and her lovely daughter (one of my besties who will also remain anonymous) set up a profile for her at Lancashire Dating as she hadn’t been on a date in over a decade, and lockdown was getting tedious, repetitive and boring. Jean, her daughter and myself sat one evening at our laptops chatting to each other about the kinds of things gentlemen have sent to her in dm’s. I have to say it’s a long time since I ever laughed so much. In the end it was Jean who had to politely excuse herself from the conversation as she had scheduled in a call with a new friend.

Advice for online dating

Jean did have some fantastic advice. Oozing with a new found confidence after so many positive experiences with online dating she said the best thing you can possibly do is to be true to yourself, to also approach things with a sense of humour, not to take it all too seriously and interestingly to also not put all your eggs in to one basket…. she also said that if you like the look of someone’s profile then it’s okay to be the one to send the first message….. it’s the 21st century after all.

Single and ready to mingle

So here I am… Lavania, single mum, career woman and creative blogger from Birmingham ready for West Midlands dating. Let’s just hope that Boris opens the pubs by the time I have found someone I want to head out for a drink with! I’m going to get Christmas out of the way, and then toast in the new year by activating my online dating profile. If you have any tips, advice or stories please share in the comments.

Bring on 2021

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